ummm im not sure what to write about here today........ well today was uni as usual. thing is i came to a realisation. a realisation that im wayyyyyyy to lasy lols. i know i have assignments due and things i need to get done but im just cbb its too much work i'll do it later. also i've found that ive been tired alot of the time now not sure why thought it might be my diet or the ammout of sleep im getting or my mental state. im really not sure any more its strange. i just feel tired all day and theres no reason for it. its like i get up i still feel tired. i wake up a bit but then the rest of the day im still tired. like i feel lethargic the whole time. meh oh well hope its just for a short period of time cause its liek annoying . oh wells
hmm what else oh food lols i was going to try eat healthier but that didnt work out lols. i eat too many lollies and sweet stuff to eat healty and i dun think i can give them up lols. but yeah i want to get fit well be able to run wid out my puffer or swim without it also. hmm i wanna get fit. too much junk food lols.
run run run exercise is good lols
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Sunday, May 03, 2009
depression, bipolar or normal?
hmm today went to watch wolverine was awesome. soo very awesome. he as a bro, he dies, theres a sex scene lols. jkjk im not going to give a way the plot. awesome show. had so much fun was bros bday. well not really his bday but like went out for his bday on monday. yups went to eat at sakura awesome place to eat but dam expensive. i didn tlook at the price when i ordered...... i ordered shabu shaubu it was .......... $22.50 T.T then i ordered desert it was ........... $9.50 ............... T.T i had a $30 dollar dinner sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff. i want my $30 backT.T wayy to much for one meal.
anyway. whats wid the title of this post? well i was in the toilet at movies
yes the toilet.
and there were posters saying stuff about depression and bi polar. so i started wondering how i have been feeling lately. and it struck me as kinda wierd i started thinking i was bi polar........ like mood swings and all. how i seem to have had them all ym life one time happy all of a sudden upset... but then i thought that was normal and crap cause like always a reason for it. but the i saw the depression poster. and that was like .................................. sounds so like me. since i have been pretty depressed lately. i know why but no one else does and i dun really care to tell any one atm sorry peoples. i dunno its like randomly i just start feelign depressed thinking about stuff and getting mroe depressed. what am i depressed about? meh lots of stuff. what botheres me? everything well not everything but lots of stuff. but yeah depression its strange at the wierdest fo times it hits u u feel like crap there nothign that makes u feel better and like it dun go away. u pretend that everythign is ok but its not. cause u dun want peopel to worry about u. and its just there. but i wonder how do u grade depression? i mean yeah i feel depressed and all but hwo do u know that u have depression like cronic depression? liek the ones u have to take pills for? sigh i dun really under stand.... oh wells.
i dun want to feel depressed and all just it keeps coming back and bugging me. i get agro or depressed and i cant think strate. its wierd what do i do now? what is my path? is everythign set for me? its odd i know what my path is but then i dunno what my path is. its so confusing. paths are always changing and all things are different.
god set a path for me he has a plan for me and do i follow that plan? atm nto very sure. or nto very closely. but i know its there and i know he's wating for me to follow that plan. so glad that god is gracious and is willing to wait for me. atm there are a few thigns keeping me sane atm. God, my friends n family, and routine. dunno what i woudl do with out them. sigh so much going through my mind atm that i dunno what im thinking everythign is just bla i dunno whats going on whats happening or whats going to happen..... all i want is to live happy and for god.
one thing thats starting to bug me is do i really know what my feelings are do i really know how i feel. i feel like i dun have nay positive emotions atm. or well not alot of them. i seem to be cynical alot of the time nowadays. i see everythign like that happens in a wierd warped way. my annoyance fuze has like gotten smaller and the tiniest thing can set me off. im nto sure whats happening but i dun like it and it just makes me feel more depresed. sigh dunno what im going to do sigh. all things change and all things are different but do they have to change for the worst? cant they change for the better? hmm i think i'll stop now im thinking too much again and its stupid really. well im going to go sleep have work tomorrow.
laters peoples
anyway. whats wid the title of this post? well i was in the toilet at movies
yes the toilet.
and there were posters saying stuff about depression and bi polar. so i started wondering how i have been feeling lately. and it struck me as kinda wierd i started thinking i was bi polar........ like mood swings and all. how i seem to have had them all ym life one time happy all of a sudden upset... but then i thought that was normal and crap cause like always a reason for it. but the i saw the depression poster. and that was like .................................. sounds so like me. since i have been pretty depressed lately. i know why but no one else does and i dun really care to tell any one atm sorry peoples. i dunno its like randomly i just start feelign depressed thinking about stuff and getting mroe depressed. what am i depressed about? meh lots of stuff. what botheres me? everything well not everything but lots of stuff. but yeah depression its strange at the wierdest fo times it hits u u feel like crap there nothign that makes u feel better and like it dun go away. u pretend that everythign is ok but its not. cause u dun want peopel to worry about u. and its just there. but i wonder how do u grade depression? i mean yeah i feel depressed and all but hwo do u know that u have depression like cronic depression? liek the ones u have to take pills for? sigh i dun really under stand.... oh wells.
i dun want to feel depressed and all just it keeps coming back and bugging me. i get agro or depressed and i cant think strate. its wierd what do i do now? what is my path? is everythign set for me? its odd i know what my path is but then i dunno what my path is. its so confusing. paths are always changing and all things are different.
god set a path for me he has a plan for me and do i follow that plan? atm nto very sure. or nto very closely. but i know its there and i know he's wating for me to follow that plan. so glad that god is gracious and is willing to wait for me. atm there are a few thigns keeping me sane atm. God, my friends n family, and routine. dunno what i woudl do with out them. sigh so much going through my mind atm that i dunno what im thinking everythign is just bla i dunno whats going on whats happening or whats going to happen..... all i want is to live happy and for god.
one thing thats starting to bug me is do i really know what my feelings are do i really know how i feel. i feel like i dun have nay positive emotions atm. or well not alot of them. i seem to be cynical alot of the time nowadays. i see everythign like that happens in a wierd warped way. my annoyance fuze has like gotten smaller and the tiniest thing can set me off. im nto sure whats happening but i dun like it and it just makes me feel more depresed. sigh dunno what im going to do sigh. all things change and all things are different but do they have to change for the worst? cant they change for the better? hmm i think i'll stop now im thinking too much again and its stupid really. well im going to go sleep have work tomorrow.
laters peoples
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